Burst Fifty Nine :
That Light within Us
The more we are caught in the mental chatter of “I, me and my”, the more we are actually in the darkness of a cinema hall, though the movie might appear splendid. Our ability to put aside all unnecessary forms of personal insecurity and our capacity to care for others ushers us into the wide open fields of bright sunshine and pleasant winds.
Even the so-called successful people among us are just passing through a sweet dream. We are not awake to the truth of our being intimately related to all life on the earth. Success blinds us to the reality of the millions suffering in this very world where we live. Furthermore we come under the illusion that a whole lot depends on us. This self-importance is the essential darkness that becomes the womb of much suffering in due course of time. Somebody or the other does whisper to us to take a second look at life. We do not listen. Eliza Doolittle says to Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady, “Without your help, the earth can spin, the tide comes in and the clouds roll by.” Higgins gets jittery.
A small finger, placed before our eyes, can block the vision of vast scenarios in front of us. Our pre-occupation with self-interest can likewise make right seeing impossible. Reading books or listening to discourses may not really help. The clever self can gather all religious knowledge also for its own reinforcement. “I know the scriptures better,” can be another way of nurturing the ego.
Are we earnest to change radically? Are we truly eager to get out of all our self-made prisons? Or are we content to just beautify the walls of the jail or enlarge the cells? Real readiness to break the shackles is the major milestone in our spiritual journey. Then we set off the fire crackers of the festival of lights. Then Shri Krishna kills the demon Naraka.
Let us not stay in the comfort zones of nice words or beautiful phrases. Let us inquire who we are and what our mental models1 are. What kind of picture have our thoughts created of our own? While doing small and big things, what is our sense of our own identity? For example, we could put in a few hours of hard work at our office and, while doing so, imagine we are such contributors that the company has got to promote us pretty soon. In the same situation, we could also think it is a privilege to offer our services to a very worthy project and wish that maximum people be benefited by the work. While the action is the same, our mental models might depict us as benefactors, beneficiaries, leaders, servants or nothing. (To be free of any opinion as to who we are is the most difficult possibility though not many may recognize it so.)
Inquiry is one way of putting it while watching is the second. See the movement of thought, even as it builds and erects models after models, can be a very fascinating exercise in itself. Rising above our usual impatience to think something, we could just see how thoughts are rising. Most people do not appreciate this witnessing for they do not see what wonders it can do. Staying as the choiceless witness (saakshi) gives to the mind a different treatment as compared with the hundreds of things that we ‘do’ with the mind. We usually indulge in certain thoughts, suppress others, react to yet others and so on. For a change, why not just watch them?
When love god Manmatha tried to disturb Shiva, the Lord just opened His third eye and just looked at the flower-arrowed intruder. The god of love (of lust rather) went up in flames like the cones of Diwali. We have this light within us, by which we can see the formations of thought like ‘me’ and ‘mine’. This seeing is the portal to freedom. It has the capacity to liberate us and no amount of noble ‘thought, word and deed’ actually can do it.
May we live a first-hand life being directly aware of what are doing, thinking or feeling. May we assert thus our true nature as being far above the body and mind.
Swami Chidananda
Diwali Day, October 28, 2008
1 For an elaboration of mental models, please read Dr. Srikumar Rao’s ARE YOU READY TO SUCCEED? published by Random House. The book covers many aspects of how our own thoughts limit us and cause suffering. Visit alternatively www.areyoureadytosucceed.com