Burst Thirty Four (For Youth):
Silence and Living in the Present
An inner silence or a quiet watchfulness alone makes possible living in the present. When our mind is noisy and we are carried away by some conclusion, it is impossible to be free from the clutches of memories and judgments.
The ego is on one hand the product of memories or past conditionings, and on the other, thrives on the endless chasing of personal desires. Acquiring or hoarding of objects and becoming somebody are our constant preoccupations. The illusion that one more object in our possession will make us complete results in a wild goose chase, and we go on suffering. In the same way, the fancy that a certain position, professionally or in the society, will bring meaning to our life also keeps us on the run. There is such force normally in these mental movements that we are miles away, psychologically, from the actuality of life. Alas, we then are going in circles of imagined factors and are not in touch with facts.
What is silence? What is watchfulness? The moment we choose one thought over another, true silence is lost. Such choice implies an agent behind the choice and that is the noisy self. If we are really silent, we observe thoughts as they are. We observe external things also as they are, without interfering in them through some interpretations based on our likes and dislikes. Selective watching, with a motive behind it, only strengthens the self. Our ego gets refined or more sophisticated.
Living in the present cannot be willed. When there is attention with a childlike innocence, the pressures of the past and of the future vanish. Living in the present then just takes place, without our putting a seal of recognition upon it. The moment we say, “Ah, I am living in the present today”, we are not in the present for such judgment is surely the sign of our feeding on the past.
So the truth of this matter is that there is no such thing as practicing awareness. We just need to be aware now and there is only now. All indulgence in thoughts like, “I shall extend my awareness to longer and longer periods slowly” give reality to the self that is conceived on the axis of psychological time. Truth is timeless and any practice is necessarily in time. How can the two be together?
Let us not make a virtue of this so-called living in the present. Let us understand that we just need to be fully awake this moment. This moment alone is true and it contains eternity.
The truth is the light of all lights. No darkness touches it. Shining brilliantly in your own heart now, it is the beginning of wisdom and the fulfillment too. It is at once the means and the end. (adapted from Geeta 13:17)
Swami Chidananda
Monday, February 21, 2005