ARANI SERIES
Spark 48
Saturday, August 18, 2018
LIVE A BALANCED LIFE
Finding Happiness in the Madhyama-Mārga
A lot of difficult situations in life are the result of ‘excess somewhere’.Excess here can mean both ‘too much’ and ‘too less.’
Right distances in relationships have always been hard to maintain for most people in this world. They either get too attached or keep away in undue measure. The former generates undesirable dependence, emotionally and otherwise. The latter is unfair, which means there is a price to pay in due course of time.
Many of us slip and fall in the domain of talking: we say either more than what is appropriate or hold back where it is our duty to inform. It is one kind of a problem when we spill the beans, where we are supposed to keep some information confidential; and it is another kind where, nursing probably a wound of the past, we become secretive even about matters that we ought to share with our close team members.
Our responses to scenarios often tend to go to extremes. We make a mountain out of a molehill at times, and the other way around at other times. Somebody makes a small mistake and we reprimand him loudly, in the presence of many others. No doubt he was at fault but we could have expressed our disapproval in less hurting ways. Similarly we get carried away by somebody’s compliments to us and shower praise on him. He no doubt will feel very good but this may lead to many others getting secretly let down, and even the person whom we praised may start having unrealistic expectations from us.
Taking the middle path – madhyama-mārga – has always been a challenge in the context of right living. We know the dictum1 ati sarvatra varjayet (avoid excess everywhere) but find it hard to practise it, mainly because of our old habits.
Even diabetics are sometimes seen to violate the norms that doctors set for them. They go overboard, eating not just half a piece or one piece of sweets but much more! It is this excess that leads them to much suffering later. Food, that way, is often an area where people lose their sense of balance. The majority eat their favourite food in greater quantity than what is right. A small number, maybe driven by their ambition to remain slim or by some misconceived idea of spirituality, unduly avoid food that would please their palates. Real self-control is when we enjoy life without overdoing anything.
Lifestyle changes in modern times have thrown human life off balance in many ways. A large number of youngsters these days go to bed after midnight. Classes to attend (or office to go to) make them rise early again. Parents or other elders find it very hard to persuade them to sleep enough at night. Most health experts place it between 6 and 8 hours, when it comes to the number of hours of sleep, at a stretch, that we need at night. The younger generation can be seen to frequently sleep less on some nights, and then make up in bizarre ways on weekends.
Lastly, we would do well to take the middle path in decision making too. For example, someone terribly annoys us by his behaviour. Our mind tends to go to the extreme, saying, “Enough is enough. I will have nothing do with him in the rest of my life!” Such a step can be very unwise. We must rather decide to cut down a little bit our interactions with such a person, and not cut off fully. It is quite possible that this man had done a lot for us in the past, and we must remain grateful. Or we have been judgmental about him and he has many good qualities too along with his recurring faults.
In multiple areas and ways thus, we can conclude, “Moderation is the best policy.”
Swami Chidananda
Notes:
1 The old verse goes,
“ati roopena vai seetā, cāti-garvena Rāvanah,
ati-dānād balir-baddho, hyati sarvatra varjayet.”
अति रूपेण वै सीता चातिगर्वेण रावणः।
अतिदानाद् बलिर्बद्धो ह्यति सर्वत्र वर्जयेत्।।
Seetā landed in trouble as she was excessively beautiful; Rāvana met with his doom because of excessive pride; excessive generosity led King Bali to get bound (pushed to the nether-worlds). Give up therefore excess everywhere.