Burst Fifty-Four :
Forgive Them And Move On
In the life of everybody among us, there is some hurt that we are nursing. If it heals fully, we can move on and embrace this New Year with fresh energy and much cheer. To err is human and to forgive is divine1. Let us be divine, and that is a gift to others and to ourselves as well.
One way to forgive the other person who has caused a wound in us is to reflect on our own shortcomings. We must realize how we too have hurt somebody or the other quite badly, at some time or the other in our life. Do we want those people to whom we were unfair to harbor any ill will against us? Apply the golden rule – do unto others what you want them to do unto you. Let us just put the matter behind and look with new eyes.
A second way is to believe firmly in God and think that God will settle the accounts. We need not carry the burden of the unpleasant memories. It is perfectly all right if God, in His infinite mercy, lets the wrong-doer go scot-free. He knows better for sure.
To realize that it just causes continued misery to us if assume an unforgiving attitude could be a third way to arrive at forgiveness. We decide to give up our sorrowful way of living. To suffer the memories of the pain inflicted upon us by the wrong-doer is in fact tantamount to letting him (or her) inflict it upon us again and again. Why give him (or her) a second, a third and a fourth chance when the first one alone was terrible enough?
An old Sanskrit verse2 goes, “What can the wicked do to you if you have the weapon called forgiveness in your hand? If a ground has no grass, the fire that falls upon it dies down on its own.”
In heightened self-awareness, we notice that the ego in us has created a false comfort zone where we expect everyone to be good to us. Even a small thing like somebody not inviting us to a party makes us angry. We feel let down. Somebody not coming to see us when we visit their town, as another example, disturbs us. It should actually not matter. (Sometimes such things relieve us of stress as there is less demand on our time.) However, any explanation smells fishy to the ego. We start analyzing and come to unsettling conclusions.
Have our own thought patterns made us weak? Have our ways of interpreting relationships led us to a situation where everything pains us? Do we get insecure if people do not smile at us? Do we get suspicious if they do?
In intense attention to the ways of the mind, we get free of much clutter in the psychological domain. In economy of thoughts, we can see clearly that the world is what we make of it. We are the world.
WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008, EMPTIED OF REGRETS AND FILLED WITH JOY.
Swami Chidananda
January 1, 2008
Varanasi, India
1 A well-known old saying
2 kshamaa shastram kare yasya, durjanah kim karishyati?
atrine patito vahnih svayamevopashaamyati.