Spark 11
LONELINESS DISAPPEARS IN SELF-KNOWLEDGE
It is easy to see that physical loneliness is never a problem. It is the thought, “I have nobody who cares for me,” that fills our heart with sorrow.
Actual relationships in life get interpreted in certain ways by our mind and we have a picture of where we stand in our thoughts. If the actual relationships are the territory, the picture we have in our mind is the map of the territory. The map many a time does not represent the territory properly!
The psychological domain therefore matters a lot in shaping our emotions such as happiness and well being on one hand and sorrow and fear on the other. We are happy sometimes thinking someone loves us a lot while he may not actually care for us! And we are often very insecure imagining people close to us have no caring feelings for us. Thoughts need to be re-checked and one of the profound ways to do it is to engage in the self-inquiry, “Who am I?”
Loneliness causes fear. Prajapati, the divine being, was seized with fear upon reflecting on his loneliness, says the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad1. When somebody is alone, with no friends or associates, one is surely afraid2. He however inquired further and came to the understanding3, “There is actually none else than me. No one exists apart from me. Why should I fear therefore?” His fear instantly vanished. The mantra ends with the significant statement, “Fear arises when there is a second (entity) 4.”
Without taking it to the height of the advaita philosophy, where Brahman alone exists and “You are That,” we can appreciate this revelation on a simpler platform. When we have noble thoughts and healthy outlooks, we do not look at even our critics with negative emotions. We have no grudge against those who ill-treated us. Equally importantly, we do not get excessively attached to those who have been good to us, helped us and stood by us in hard times. This state of mind, described by texts like Geeta as a ‘consciousness devoid of likes and dislikes,’ blesses us with a great sense of well-being. There is no loneliness at all because we do not cling to any relationship, nor run away from any either.
Spirituality thus is tremendous psychological healing, to put it in modern language. To derive the benefits of this science, we must work on ourselves by being true to our values, constantly re-examining them and learning all the time the inner workings of the self (ego) in us.
Swami Chidananda
May 19, 2015
Notes:
1 sah abibhet (Brihadaranyaka Upanishad 1.4.2)
2 ekaki bibheti (same mantra as above)
3 kasmad nu bibhemi? (same mantra as above)
4 dvitiyad vai bhayam bhavati (same mantra as above)