How Can We Cope With Change
Swami Chidananda
We are interested in right living, we are interested in doing things rightly, speaking things rightly, even having right thoughts. Life has a whole lot of questions, from the cradle to the grave. You & I wonder about even fundamental issues like – why we are here? Probably some of you may be wondering – ‘why you are here?’ And even I am wondering – why I am here? For fundamental question remained unanswered, while we have answers to whole lot of secondary unimportant questions. And as long as most basic question remains unanswered, everyone of us remain in square one, after earning a lot or moderately, after getting this status or that position, after arriving somewhere apparently, we feel that the journey is very long one, we feel the destination is far away. Different people feel incomplete in different ways. Someone has a sense of financial inadequacy, someone else feels she is a failure in relationship, a third person might feel lost in terms of the so called knowledge – ‘I am a very ignorant person’. It may be his self judgment. So we are seeking, more wealth, more knowledge, more friends, admirers, more people to approve our way of living. We are looking out for better, than our today.
What exactly is the nature of our sense of incompleteness? I am sure some time everybody wonders – are we truly incomplete or is this sense of incompleteness, an illusion? ‘May be I am just alright’ and it gives a certain amount of peace and relief. Mostly it is short lived. One says, ‘How can I be alright, when everything is going to sixes and sevens?’ One feels again drawn to yet another pursuit. If one doesn’t feel, there are others who come and say – ‘How can you be so much at peace, something is wrong with you’. One believes to be abnormal. What a great confusion life is! Alas!
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So here apparently, we are going to package a solution to age-old problems. Apparently everybody is going to go home with—‘Ah! I learnt a new approach. I got new answers to these questions.’ But it would be a very different thing, if some of you realize that I apparently did not answer any question but shook the problems. Do you have to always answer the questions? Perhaps another option could be to shake the very foundations of the questions.
Bhagavan Ramana Maharshi often said to the people, “Doubt the doubter”. If you have a doubt, you have to doubt the doubt. And he would go one step further – doubt the doubter. Very smart these spiritual Masters are! Putting the ball back in your court was perhaps practiced first by them. Who has the question? Who has the doubt? Find out, who you are? But you and I are so used to looking at everything as a method.
Friends, I am trying to throw some light on the intricacy of the questions of living. There are areas concerning these issues, which are rarely visited by enquirers. There is a dimension to human suffering which goes utterly unnoticed. In simple terms; we take the problems to be real, issues to be real, all the parameters to be real and we are out to find a real solution. For a change, could we question the very reality, validity of the problems?
The text Bhagavad Gita (700 verses) is a very fascinating book indeed. I am amazed, over the decades my grasp of this book has been evolving and it is quite funny, I think this is a very mischievous work indeed, no wonder Lord Krishna the mischievous Lord gave this super mischievous classic to humanity.
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There are questions and there are answers. Different answers that suit different people but then there is an approach, where you take a dispassionate look at the questions themselves and you examine the very ground from where the question arise, the very bosom, your heart, your mind, your stream of thoughts, where these questions are formulated. Take a look at that very material of which the questions are made. You will find there is a very different flavor to spirituality itself.
Great Masters talks to us about no partial, fragmentary achievement, when you study some one like Nisargdatta Maharaj, whose conversation has been brought out as that great spiritual classic ‘I AM THAT’ or you see the beautiful gems of teachings of Ramana Maharshi and the most confusing statement of J Krishnamurti, there is a different quality. They talk to us about, not learning this or mastering that, owning this or gaining that skill, . When you wake up from a dream, how many miles would you have covered in the dream journey? How you are progressing? Who started together? Who are now ahead? How many miles are left? And all those just disappear. You are awake and you blink and say, ‘Hey! What happened to that journey?’ and people ask, ‘Tell us more about the journey of awakening’ that immediately is made into another journey. 1.1.11
You and I face changes and really speaking changes sometimes cause happiness to us and many other times cause unhappiness or fear in us. There are both these kinds of changes of course. We are more concerned about coping with change which are hard on us. And I shall dwell here more on, to cope with changes but let us clarify right at the beginning that the light we throw on this issue of coping with changes applies to the changes that are pleasant also.
What are the unpleasant changes, which drives us to the wall, which makes us quite miserable, makes us feel lost and all that. We were wealthy, now we are poor that could be an example. We were very powerful, lot of people used to listen to us, lot of people were at our beck n call now hardly anybody cares for us. We were enjoying such wonderful health, but today getting up is one challenge, sitting down is another challenge. Then there is a very challenging area and perhaps more vital than what I mentioned before – of relationships. In fact, the issues of wealth, health, power etc. boils down to relationships only. In this world of ours, we find that, through wealth we have lot of good relationships, through good health we have good relationships and through power we have good relationships. So if we have no wealth, no health, and no power we find people are leaving us. So the vital issue is change in the quality of relationships.
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Swami Chinmayananda often said, ‘To love and to be loved is the greatest privilege of life’ and perhaps there is more than a grain of truth. It is love that we seek even through power, position, pleasure, wealth, fame, name, health and all that. It is a sense of being accepted, then we spice it up. We put a whole lot of other details. If we were to ask ourselves, ‘what does being loved mean to me?’ we have a whole lot of ideas. We may think in grosser terms – how many people call us if there is any get-together or function, how many people greet us on our birthday? How many people smile at us? How many people praise us, talk well of us in front or behind? In numerous ways we have picture of to be loved. But basically it is a sense of security, a sense of psychological security, when we feel accepted. We look at someone and we don’t believe that he/she hates us. Then there is sense of feeling loved. We feel free to approach X/Y and we feel X/Y may jolly well approach us. ‘I would be happy to meet X/Y or she may not or I may not’. But whole thing is not an issue, no fear, there is no shaking or trembling within. ‘Oh! Does she have the regards for me now also as she had before?’; ‘Oh! does she think well of me, as she used to?’ like that suppose there are thoughts, then there is difficulty àSo these changes essentially are a certain disturbance in the psychological realm, on the plane of our thoughts, we find a certain lack of well being.
I asked somebody to give me an example of a change that is hard to cope with. He said, cultural change. We move from one culture to another and then in one sense we may be having everything but the cultural shock is hard to bear. Yes, that is yet another form of change. Take a look at it again, we are habituated to one way of living, one way of celebrating, a certain way of mourning, a certain way of exchanging pleasantries and a certain way of keeping distances perhaps. We are at home with certain ways, then there is a second set of ways and we find, we don’t belong there, we feel like a fish out of water. A cultural shock.
So in all these, do you see that the life is the movement in relationship and it is in the medium of relationship that the so called – finding it hard to cope with change, happens. It doesn’t spare even spiritual teachers. The so called religious activity, spiritual sphere, is also a human issue, a human affair. Somebody whom I taught in Bombay for two years and looked upon her as wonderful, she will make me famous, my student or her belief changes and she walks a different path and I the teacher feel quite odd, quite awkward, quite miserable, I might miss her, not just missing on an emotional plane, but I might feel threatened, I might feel insecure, I might feet that I made a fool of myself by a group of people, who after leaving are now with some other belief, so I am fool? Am I wrong? Or am I judged in some particular way by X or Y? What difference is there in such a situation, from family circumstances, company’s situation? Human life is the same.
Coping with change: Who is coping with change? Who has to cope with change? ‘I’ I have to cope with change. I was studying very well and met with an accident. So I had to get out of college, meanwhile family finances also broke and now for existential problem, I have to cope with it……numerous examples.
I have to cope with change, we have to cope with change—-fine!!
Now this ‘I’ is that area which goes unnoticed. Generally, we do not pay attention to what this ‘I’ could be? ‘I’ –‘I am’ what is there to talk about ‘I’? The attention is on the situation. Everybody goes and says, ‘see how much wealth I had up to 2002 summer, it is in last 1 ½ years now this is what I have’. All of us generally give attention to these details of wealth how it was, how it is. Popularity—how it was? How it is? The way people treated me/us and now how they treat me/us? Now this ‘Me’, is it an absolute reality? Is it an absolute entity? This ‘Me’ in which there are expectations, in which there are desires, in which there are certain views of how things should be. It is not an absolute entity. It is a product of a whole lot of influences. 10.01.2011
In the Bhagavad Gita Sri Krishna advises Arjuna, repeatedly. He says, “Look you are in turmoil”. There is the line – dheerah tatra na muhyati a wise one does not get deluded by such a situation. Another place He says, taamstitikshasva bhaarata which means — “O Arjuna put up with it”. Arjuna found that he has to fight, send the arrows to his own teachers, elders, people whom he had always worshipped & adored. He had touched their feet and now there is a change. Friends have become enemies. Relatives have becomes enemies. Teachers are now ones whom I should shoot arrows at…..if I don’t they finish me out. What a situation? Arjuna’s situation on the battlefield of kurukshetra is indeed a very dramatic representation of changes that takes place in our life. It was a 180 degree change in relationship that he was facing. Coping with change…Drona, Bhishma and number of others change their position by 180 degree. They were with him, patting him, blessing him, encouraging him, praising him, hugging him and they are his opponents with bow & arrow, with maze and all kind of weapons. Does it not represent a tremendous change in relationship. Sri Krishna makes these statements as he opens his grand teaching in the Bhagavad Gita “Come on, Arjuna, wise people do not cry over these things a ashocyaananvashocastvam…” in the second chapter from 11th verse onwards till 30th verse dehinosminyathaa…. “Just as in the body youthfulness, middle age and old age are bound to occur, there is no choice, in the same way death and the soul, moving to the next life is choiceless for you—do not grieve.”
Change is inevitable, varieties of changes takes place. Sometimes you are not even conscious of various faces of those movements. Sometimes you apparently are engineering the whole thing. In a way you are the one at the wheel, you are steering it, but in another way the urges in you were so strong that you were helpless.
Change is unavoidable, by comparing somebody else with ourselves – ‘their life is very steady and the graph has been moving up and up. Why is my graph suddenly coming down’ we are in fact wasting time as well as presuming that the other person’s life is most wonderful. Life is bound to have up’s and down’s. So change is unavoidable. In everybody’s life there are lot of unpleasant changes, lot of changing relationships, the zones are being redefined, outside and inside. Sri Krishna would even touch upon—maatraasparshaastu.. “Heat & cold, sorrow & celebration, come and go, Arjuna put up with them. Bear with them”.
One more expression, in the 15th verse, He says – yam hi na vyathayantyete “One who stays equal, one who remains equal in sukha and dukha sorrow and celebration, he is fit for immortality”
The first thing that even a beginner takes it and says is I should remain equal in joy and sorrow, that’s where I am very weak, I have always been emotional. This is judging oneself and then saying, ‘I will try slowly step by step’. If you say, this is the change I will bring about in myself and towards this change in me I shall do this and this and this and by about so much time the change should take place. I caution you, you are working with thousand of variables and you have your hand on 3 or 4 handles. So here is the teaching of Bhagavad Gita – sama sukha dukha à-dukha and sukha are changes, coping with change. And sama. So one movement of the mind is when we say, ‘I am weak here, I shall get stronger, alright, very fine! Yes there is a certain will. Where there is will, there is a way.
Interestingly this statement, is very wonderful statement, ordinarily it is to motivate people, because where there is no will there is no way, if you slightly modify the synonyms. What is will? It is deciding, rolling up the sleeves, getting down on a course of action. And the new meaning I am sharing with you is, where there is no will, doesn’t mean you are lacking in motivation and you are low in spirits or negative, don’t go to the opposite. Other than the will there is what is called intelligence. Roll up your sleeves and decide – good, hats off to it and be afraid and sink, collapse. Oh! We pity that, we sympathize with that, but there could be someone who says, Hey! I don’t want to come under any pressure outer or inner. At least in this situation there is no such urgency that I have to rush to the garage, take the car out and act. Wait a minute, let me see, this sorrow, this agitation, I would like to see, what this is?
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You know, there is acting – karma, karmabhumi the plane of action. All of you do it. karmanyevaadhikaaraste… “Your right is to act”. Well said, but what is behind karma thoughts and these are all those saying, ‘sow a thought, reap an actionàsow an action, reap a habitàsow a habit and reap a characteràsow a character and reap a destiny.’ Wonderful! This has guided, shaped, inspired and motivated people, brought millions on the so called right track. We bow down before these teachings. But are they the ultimate teachings? Can we see a little beyond, word, deed, thought, motives of thoughts, what is there in you deeper, further beyond? That is the faculty of seeing. You can see your motives, you can see your fear, you can see your punctured self esteem or you can see your bloated notion of who you are. You can SEE or perhaps you don’t and that makes a big difference. You can see that, ‘I am fooling this fellow and I think I should stop.’ And that seeing can have tremendous scope. I can see that I am fooling somebody in very superficial way, I can see that I am fooling someone, for there is pleasure in it or there is a material gain in it, my security is in my being able to fool all these people, I can see so much more, I can see that ME in operation, I can see ME that tremendously contributes to sorrow and celebration, I believed these were caused by all these external factors and this cruel society and this wicked relatives of mine or that unkind boss or etc. Now I see that the ME, the ME which is full of certain desire, certain ambition, certain judgment, certain prejudice, certain presumptions, these makes the ME and if these were not to be there is no ME, you and I believe that there is a certain identity of ours free from our belief. I would question it. If you were to be free from belief, will there remain a ME.
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Enquire, could that equation be right 100% or to only an extent? Two hands are required for a clap, there is the ME and than there is this coping with change. There is the ME then that ME celebrates or suffers. That ME feels hurts, ME shrinks or the ME feels elated. There is this ME and as long as there is this ME equanimity in joy and sorrow is a matter of will. Where there is will there are many ways. Where there is no will there is only the landing ground. There is only a pathless land. And Vedanta will say, ‘you are that land” you and I thoroughly relish it without seeing its full significance. Most of us tracing our descent to the land where the Upanishads were recited, feels so happy, Vedanta said it, right. Many masters, many seers, many mahatmas also said it. Round the world by God’s grace this truth was seen – sama- dukha- sukham dheeram sah- amrtatvaaya kalpate that person becomes fit for immortality and that immortality is the absence of ME. The absence of ME does not lead to immortality…..
HARI OM !
WHAT ENDS SORROW?
Swami Chidananda
All the spiritual classic has much to say on human suffering and the ending of it. The celebrated portion of Bhagavad Gita sthitaprajna lakshana. The description of the one with steady wisdom has a beautiful live expression, which upon being translated is just the Ending of Sorrow. As most of you know there are 18 verses at the end of second chapter of the Bhagavad Gita describing the supreme vision. Taking of from here, I shall be basically dwelling on ending of sorrow through ending of psychological end of separation, of alienation.
The root cause of sorrow is our imagining that we are different from others. The spiritual wisdom of Bhagavad Gita challenges that notion — Are there others? You and I are pressurized by this thought. Very often our number one difficulty is what would others think if I do this. And highest spiritual wisdom says there are no others. Therefore we shall examine, how thought construct a sense of separativeness, a sense of others and us. Thought create a division and this division caused by thought is the root cause of sorrow. Unless and until we put an end to this separation, whatever we may do, however much the wealth we may earn, however much we come to live higher in this society and those charming glittering enviable acquisition, nothing will help.
End of sorrow is through end of one’s self perception as different from others. In the following stanza, to start with, the Lord says,
-raagadveshviyuktaistu vishyAnindriyaishcaran |
Atmavashyairvidheyaatmaa prasaadmadhigacchati || ……..2.64
prasaade sarvaduhkhaanaam haanirasyopajaayate |
prasannacetaso hyaanshu buddhih paryavatishthate || ……. 2.65
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Meaning: When anyone of us meets with life situation, goes through the
vicissitude of living keeping away one’s likes and dislikes, one’s
attachments and aversions, on then comes upon an inner serenity. In this inner serenity all sorrow comes to an end. And one who lives in such serenity, naturally has one’s mind well stabilized, well positioned in the ultimate Truth.
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-sarva duhkhaanaam haani in these two words, haanih the going away, the cessation; Of what? –-> all sorrows. The teacher Sri Krishna of Bhagavad Gita points to a tremendous change, the transformation, the transcendence indeed.
So the above verses, first talk about keeping away likes & dislikes and you & I realize that certain things turn us off, certain things make us so happy. These words are so true. Day in and day out we feel drawn to certain scenarios seeking them, seeking particular pleasure, particular form of gratification, seeking specific objects, wanting the company of specific people, so on and so forth. And on the other hand, you and I continuously avoid certain object, certain people, certain scenarios, certain events. So trying to reach, access some thing and trying to run away from something else, there is so much of strain & stress. How wonderful, it would be if these likes & dislikes go away. Is it ever possible to be free of these likes & dislikes one wonders and one strives towards keeping them under check. So we tell ourselves, ‘I should not dislike so and so—I shall try. And should not attach to so and so, which is also difficult, I shall try.’
So trying, struggling and approaching this issue with may be some methods like meditation, chanting, japa, not to mention the basic resolving—resolution. We resolve and go about to implementing the resolution. We have many methods under our sleeves. But Lord Krishna has not used the language of do-s and don’t-s here. He describes – many a time scriptural portion are descriptions and not prescriptions. Most of us mix them up, where something is description, in an instant we make it a prescription. If I make a statement: ‘an intelligent person keeps calm’ most of you in your mind translate it as therefore I should keep calm. The prescription often is in imperative mood but description is not an imperative mood statement. First of all there is no need to internalize it for yourself. Most people jump into an unintended conversion from affirmative statements to imperative statements. A kind of being urged, being pulled into action. Many a time no action may be expected of you. Many a time what someone says could be just a piece of information. Grasp it and say, ‘Oh, I see.’
Sri Krishna here has described and not prescribed, but this plane of do-s and don’t-s is a very strong conditioning in all of us, for understandable reasons. If we do not have strong sense of what am I to do next? We might get lazy, we might lack motivation, we might lack direction. So no wonder, in olden days rishis in fact did a big propaganda. They made huge-strong lobby for karma.
There is a famous line of jaimini sutra—aamanaayasya kriyaathatvaat
means—aamanaaya (any vedic statement) every line, sentence of the Veda is meant for kriyaa it is to prod the students of Veda, to do something. If there is a sentence which doesn’t prod you or prompt you to do something—the karmakaanDi with whom Adi Sankara had long debates (Jaimini, Prabhakar, Kumaril Bhatt) the karmavaadi the proponents of actions – “Life is meant for action, all spiritual wisdom is meant for action, and action is the ‘be all’ and ‘end all’ of the life.” These karmavaadi have said, everything is a prescription—vidhi –nisheda. Adi Sankara who did not propose any new philosophy, but who came on the scenario and made scintillating clarification on the whole of spiritual wisdom said, ’the plane of do and don’t certainly has the place and it is true that bulk of Vedic wisdom goes into guiding people what to do and what not to do. The acme of Vedic wisdom is different. He would not say – aamanaayasya kriyaathatvaat he would say, jnaanadeva to kaivalyam it is samyag darshannam Right seeing, it’s a certain wisdom, it’s certain new perception, it’s a certain understanding which is so different, a radical transformation, that is the ultimate teaching of Veda, in as from the Upanishads. So there is a long debate and all these portions in fact touch on it. If only we have eyes to see. So here is the description if you translate literally all it says is, one who is free from pull & push, one who is free from likes & dislikes, meets with situation (no question of avoiding or seeking) meets with events that life brings to one and since one does not have attachment or aversion goes about the emerging situation in such a way that one is unscattered. That is our difficulty, we go through any event, and either we feel, Ah! My day is made now. Or we feel, ticked off. Gone, this spoilt the day. And then our attention is on whom to blame. Somebody gave the expansion of IBM– I Blame Microsoft—I Blame Madhav etc. and one lady said, I Blame Myself. The mind takes off from serenity to a judgment. I am hurt or I am elated. I am honored or I have been ill treated—a certain judgment—- the ‘I’ which basically is free from either a label of goodness or a label of badness is judged, is labeled by whom? By this mind — thought flowing out of a certain conditioning, habit patterns make us look at ourselves as low or high, lower than X or higher than X the comparison or lower than what one was yesterday or better than how one was last week — judgments — thoughts are so fast, before we could realize what is happening, there we are with a certain judgment.
Remaining Inconclusive: Great seers have talked about, going through an event without a registration on the brain. This brain records the events but does not allow a registration of the kind of ‘I lost or I won’. Why bring the ‘I’ at all, but we are used to bringing the ‘I’. Someone praised me and what is the fact of the matter, she praised me period. But how do we meet with the praise; She praised me, I feel so good, much better, my spirits are up now. And someone insulted me, the fact is she insulted me. But something happens in our brain, a long standing habit—she insulted me and I am shrunk, I am shrinking, I feel so small about myself. So this becoming big & small is a very intriguing phenomenon.
Lord Krishna seems to be pointing to a possibility where the ‘I’ does not shrink, does not swell. Not because you decided not to shrink. The one who decides comes much later, comes on a grosser plane. Phenomenon is happening on a subtle plane, so an agent of a grosser plane cannot handle, the phenomenon of a subtler plane. Therefore handling this formation of the judgment be through a subtler means and that is what we are calling gentle awareness. I decide not to feel proud, who is this ‘I’? there is already an agent. I have already taken a position, I have already come on platform of I am so and so, I shall not allow myself to be hurt anymore, I shall not feel superior to anyone, I shall…….The fellow has already come on platform. The issue is no one should be on platform. The very person who decides is a construction of memory of thoughts of conditioning. First we say I am so and so. I am the mother, who bore him, who raised him and now if he behaves like this, it is painful but going by Bhagavad Gita I will maintain an equanimity. I shall at least for Swami Chidanandaji’s sake, remain calm, a favour for him…..So in various ways we think. 1.2.11
Now I am illustrating, how our mind — this lady who I am describing, she did not watchfully, but in the medium of those memories allowed this notion of who I am to be built in the mind. It is a bundle of memories. And having built all that, having put a thousand stones & a structure and say, I will not mind. It has certainly some value as a whole lot of people are not able to decide, a whole lot of people are not able to hold back emotions, a whole lot of people allow the building of thoughts to go on & on and they just have no control at all. So compared with this deciding ‘I shall keep calm’ but we want to consider the prospect of being free from the gushing memories, being free from that very construction —I am mother— so what can help us, weaken this building up, which all happens in a few seconds, it is as though the whole structure is in there and is rising up. Can we pay attention, to the first few bricks being put together. Ramana said, when you wake up in the morning try to watch the very first second of waking up. I read this some 15 years ago but I have not yet succeeded in watching that first few seconds, by the time we are aware, we already have the strong identity of who we are, what things we need in the day and what are the opportunities, what are the weakness? Already some of us in a couple of minutes feel facing challenges and sometime we are not up to it, we pull the blanket and say after ½ an hour. It can be quite disturbing. There are first few seconds when one wakes up from deep sleep, a number of memories rise and in the medium of those memories who I am is pictured what I need to do is pictured and the challenge and opportunities also are brought in the frame. Ramana asked us, could you watch this process. I would say, over the years I have utterly failed to watch the first few seconds of waking up but to some extend I am able to watch during the day. During the day if something happens, a certain hurt or jealousy or fear or confusion—what is right action? What am I to do now? What is expected of me? What will people think of me? and whatever. During the day in saattvika moment the mind is more serene and then because of external stimulus or internal memory rising, that serenity is disturbed and some fear seizes us. One is able to notice, what is happening and it is very interesting. When we notice the flow of thought by the mere fact of notice undergoes change.
J Krishnamurti puts it in a very mathematical looking statement—‘to see what is’, transforms ‘what is’. To see ‘anger’ is to arrive at ‘no anger’. Such implications, such staggering, such mind blowing implications arise of these statements of great thinkers.
So could Sri Krishna be talking about certain alertness, where the ego is not formed. The ego is formed and it gets hurt, the ego is formed and it gets elated (swells) what if there is no ego at all. Then there is prsaada. He talked about likes & dislikes. However, these likes & dislikes shoot from the basic construction of the ego. I have a thousand memories which rise in split second and I take position as ‘I am so & so’, that, ‘I want that’ and ‘I do not want this’. So wanting something and avoiding something is an issue from a certain self-judgment. -raagadveshaviyuktaih if one is free from these and one can truly be free when the very ground has changed. That sources (likes & dislikes) are no more available, there is just pure attention. –prasaade sarvadukhaanaam of this person, there is the ending of sorrow.
We reflect on these. What are the implications of living through or living via certain ideas of ‘who am I?’, pleasant or unpleasant and meeting with events with no idea. Does it mean that the open mind is an absolute freedom from any notion of who one is. Many a time we think an open mind being open to others. I don’t want to judge her though I know all about her, I want to keep an open mind and listen to what she has to say, I don’t want to jump to a conclusion about this group of people or rather about waiting and happening. Here I notice many things, I won’t jump to a conclusion we say. So generally, what is the implication of not jumping to a conclusion about people, about that event, about this object or that company etc. But we have open another dimension. Open mind means no conclusion about oneself also, I don’t want to have a conclusion about who I am. But whether I conclude or not, ideas rise in me; I am this, I am that, whole world knows it. Then question it. Who am I? Then look at it, Ah! There is this strong notion that is rising in me with great force. This is not an academic or scholarly discussion of some topic, which has the potential of multiple PhDs. This is the description of what is going on now between you and me, with everyone of us. Now at this moment, am I free from certain judgment of all of you? In my mind thousand memories rise of all of you as I recognize most faces and a few are new and already I am putting you all in a pigeon hole. ‘I know him and she is the one’ and you are not free of judging me. ‘he used to confuse us those days also’ But there is certain flavour and we like that, there is a rich flavour. All spirituality is confusing sir, but some of these are interesting whatever you may say. So you have certain judgment.
But at this moment, please see the other dimension—-I am free from a certain notion of who I am. In many ways, inwardly ways, in spiritual ways, in moral ways, in financial terms, in terms of health and looks and age and many of them surface, is it not? Not that all of them come at one time but at random and we don’t know at what sequence it comes. But so many notions come. We are talking of awareness of one’s identity, which is so critical and so foundational to likes & dislikes. And then there is another thing we say, ‘this person is very self conscious’ that is not awareness. The self conscious person has got caught, the self conscious person is but stuck with, one has worn a very special coat and I wonder how many are noticing that I am wearing this and it’s very expensive, from a rich mall of the Beverly Hills. I have picked up just last week but people don’t know and so on… and even while listening to a spiritual lecture one might be touching its texture and so on… one could be. That self consciousness is different. Having raised this example I may as well say what we are talking of as being aware of one’s identity and ego is to be aware, how one gets attached to this coat. In between this man says, ‘Eh! Today all my mind is on this coat, I missed 10 minutes of what he was saying, suddenly when all laughed, I got a jerk now. Why did they laugh, I am sure it is not about my coat’. So one is aware that one has got stuck with this coat.
May be it is appropriate to share with you this joke of Mullah Nasiruddin: Once Mullah wore a coat and he lent another coat of his to his guest and both were walking. Within some time the Mullah was regretting, ‘that the better coat I gave to my guest, I should have worn that.’ When they met someone in his town, Mullah would introduce his guest, ‘this is my friend and the coat he is wearing is mine.’ Naturally the guest was very upset and said, ‘don’t say all these things’ so after a while the next person they met Mullah said, ‘the coat he is wearing is not mine.’ Again the guest protested and when they met the next person Mullah said, ‘meet my friend and about his coat I have nothing to say.’ So the joke is about a coat—how we have a fixation. All of us are in the grip of certain thoughts and to be aware, I am stuck in this judgment of myself, this notion, this evaluation of myself, I am stuck. To notice that I am stuck, is weakness, if not remove that state of affairs of being stuck. So we reflect upon being free from judgment of ourselves, leave alone the judgment of others. How is it possible?
Sorrow ends when one sees: Alright. And as we take a look at the gems of thought in the great classic (Bhagavad Gita), Sri Krishna has another interesting thing to say in chapter VI à Sorrow ends when one sees -àliterally translating, the Lord is every where (6:31)
sarvabhutasthitam yo maam bhajatyekatvamaasthitah |
sarvathaavartamaano’pi sa yogi mayi vartate ||
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Yogi—here we must take certainly not as one who does some physical exercise (aasana, praanaayaama etc.) in this context yogi is one of right vision. This yogi—one of right vision sees the Lord in all living beings. This yogi is established in ekatva i.e oneness.
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ekatva aaslta yogi—sarvabhuta maam pashyati sarvathaa vartamaane api.
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This doesn’t require a person to be in cave. This doesn’t require a person to have taken sanyaasa –shaven his head or wearing some dress etc. this man could be father of three children, this lady could be grand mother of seven, being in any situation externally. This woman could be bearing her third child, next month she will deliver. If this lady or that man have this vision of oneness and that oneness is described as seeing God in all and I shall take liberty at this moment to straight away put in place of God—>Awareness.
There is Awareness. All of us are Awareness, as awareness we have thought in us, emotion in us, we have ego rising and subsiding, we have pride, hurt coming and going, essentially we are Awareness. And as Awareness, we are one. That is the oneness.
We shall link, relate sorrow to a psychological imagination of separative existence of others and me. Once there is this sense of separative ‘I’ then go about seeking acceptance. And in life all of us very many times, may be for a brief period of time have such rapport with some person or a few people (It is from Bhagavad Gita perhaps) we feel ‘I can be myself, if I am with you’. What does it mean other time you are somebody else? Of course, at all other time we are not ourselves, we have to pretend, we have to act, we have to show, we have to put up a façade, we have to constantly keep an eye on what he might be thinking of, what she might say about me in this society, in this environment (culture), among such people, Oh My! you may say, ‘ Swamiji you seem to be covering some other ground, we need to talk about sorrow and sorrow for us is where there is lot of pain, lot of suffering, lot of weeping or crying, lot of agony, but you are talking rather on all true affair where we are self conscious, that is not sorrow.’
13.2.2011
Of course, little strain is that having to present ourselves in some way and keep checking, hope they see me in right light, hope they have a good picture of me etc. it is no doubt a bit of strain but it is not sorrow, that you may say. I would say that this steady, long standing habit in us of being self conscious, wanting to prove, wanting to make a good impressions on others, wanting to win somebody’s acceptance and approval; Sometimes even at home itself, with our spouse we want to be judged better which is a reality of life. Husband hopes today my wife will see me in right light at last!! And the wife aspires for the husband to accept her as she is. He thinks the wife may have long story to say and he is no different. She has come to a conclusion within the month of our marriage, she lives those conclusions, one may say. Between husband & wife, parents & children also it may happen. You know why? There is an open secret. Why even between spouses there could be certain strain of having to prove or win the acceptance—‘I am not fully accepted or understood, I want to be understood’. The open secret is that the so called husband & wife are human beings. Between any two human beings there is this difficulty. Every human being lives in images. We earlier said that ego is made up of memories and what kind of memories? Images. When I think and go about, within a few seconds of my waking up of in morning, starting from there for entire day, I meet everybody, I meet with events, I meet with situations, carrying some sense of who I am. What is that, who I am-àit is a set of images. So I have images of myself and I have images of you and then you have images if me and you have images of yourself. Images are necessarily from memory. So are we meeting? Or are images meeting? Where there are no images there is no separation. There is no separative identity. There can be no sorrow. When one knows the strength & weaknesses of so called others, so called oneself and yet there is an insight which cuts through the images, one has such an open mind for recognizing so called others and oneself.
Everyone has to go into this issue. Not through some books and some long analysis, I would recommend everyone should go into this question through seeing how it happens in the mind? We may as well say, that the great awakening is the absolute ending of this division. The ending of this division, of this others and us (me) is a great change. Then you know all seeking ends, but how do you live then? If you don’t seek, if there is no goal. This is the usual question asked. You pursue goals in love, you pursue goals spontaneously, if you are so peaceful so serene and you have no likes & dislikes, you have no worries, then the story ends. Get out; you are not a player anymore. That may be an objection—>Why do I have to? Some people get irritated if somebody is very serene, very calm.
Swami Chinmayanandaji came from Uttarkashi where he was studying Upanishad, when he decided he will teach Bhagavad Gita and all. Somebody from Kolkata wrote to him, ‘where was a need for you to come down, you could have stayed at Uttarkashi-Himalaya.’ Swamiji was full of wit and he replied to that man, ‘ yes, I don’t have any need to come down and you ask why I should come down, only thing I can say is, why not?’ cornered this person. He being a very sportive personality, he liked bullfight. He would lock horns with that person who asked mischievous question, relish that question and took pleasure replying more mischievously. He replied ultimately, ‘ I came down to plane to teach Bhagavad Gita, as long as there are people like you who will question it.’ Tit for tat.
We wonder if there is such sincerity, if we do not feel hurt, if we do not feel proud, if we are like a bright brilliant awareness, where is this loss & gain, failure & success etc. do not stand that heat—notion I lost, notion I won, just as though evaporates or sublimates like a piece of camphor in bright flame of fire, leaving behind no residue. If that kind of awareness is possible then what would make one live on and how would one relate to wife and children or husband and wife and so on. This exposes one more habit of ours, the thinking habit—>desire & fear alone make us act, make us work. It is a long standing habit in us.
The highest vision: If I have no desire, I am dead. If I have no fear, I am dead. Should it be so? Is an honest enquiry we need to go into it. We get so many glimpses of this very wonderful state. The oneness echoes from many verses of Bhagavad Gita, you have in the chapter 18 verse 20 classifying vision, outlook into three categories
1. taamasika vision à dull vision
2. raajasika vision à agitated vision
3. saattavika vision.àserene poised vision
Sri Krishna says :
– sarvabhuteshu yenaikam bhaavamavyayameekshate |
-avibhaktam vibhakteshu tat-jnaanam viddhi saativikam ………18:20
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-saattavika jnaanam the serene right vision is characterized by seeing the undivided amidst the apparently divided.
The poetry here fascinates us and those who have some exposure to Sanskrit get attached to these lines, you mush be aware also, what makes you happy in this scriptural reading? It is Love of language? Is it some memories of childhood background, where your grand father chanted every morning and suddenly listening to some chants sends a happy feeling through your veins. So is it the scripture or the grandfather reflecting in another way. You need to be aware of what is happening. Muslims feel transported when they listen to some KURAN. Their childhood memories must be acting. Hindus feel so good, listening to some vedic chants. So are Christians and everybody. So whole lot of samskaaras past impressions are in action, joys & sorrows are experienced and we are caught in our own past impressions, our own conditioning. Alas! To be caught in then causes a problem. When we find that somebody else does not enjoy the vedic chants there is a separation. A sense of they are they, and we are we. What caused that separation? Not your love of the chants but your getting stuck, your believing that this is it. To be happy with such chant, to be comfortable with such food, to enjoy such music, to feel great in such dress is the way. And somebody else likes some other dress, some other music, some other food, some other chants or somebody else doesn’t care for God and you feel miserable. Then the psychology is in action.
Sri Krishna says, while apparently there are many divisions—vibhakta—vibhaaga. Apparently that is a man and this is a women. He speaks Hebrew and we speak Hindi, that is non-vegetarian and this is vegetarian. Not to mention physical difference, black hair or white hair, color of the eyes and all those emotional things. They treat me very well; those people are indifferent to me. So in various ways vibhakta means divided. Where is oneness? With wink of an eye as though Lord Krishna says, bhakteshu avibhaktam lkshate if one sees undivided amidst this differentiated entities, THAT is the highest vision.
In the 18:62 verse of the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna brings his teaching to a conclusion. In a sense it is the last verse, but with great love he speaks few more verses also like compulsive speaker or a speaker chants the conclusive sloka and then have something more to say and everybody starts looking at watch. I don’t call Lord Krishna an addict to speech but he does speak.
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tameva sharanam gaccha…….–> Take refuge in Him, the Lord.
Going by my liberty of translation-àtake refuge in TRUTH, that undivided awareness. God can be also taken as undivided awareness, the unitary vision. Take refuge in that unitary vision. Vision of oneness—sarvabhaaven in all respects. And I tell you Arjuna, as you have this vision of oneness paraashaanti (supreme peace) will descend on you. shaashvatam sthaanam an eternal stability will come about in you. With a certain assurance like this Sri Krishna winds up His long discourse.
So in the medium of thoughts we have permitted and we have not questioned numerous divisions high & low, good & bad, senior & junior, advanced & lagging behind and so on. Suppose we make a division in terms of functional skill that is understandable. Functional skill is a very outer thing. ‘He speaks Spanish, I don’t know Spanish’ this is a division. But then on the basis of his speaking Spanish and my being ignorant of Spanish, I attach the value to him, he is a better person, we are going wrong there. I am a less worth while person. So there is an inner judgment and it is in this inner judgment that fear rises. Inner judgment causes on one hand raaga and on the other dvesha . One hand sense of inferiority complex, I want to be like him. And when I want to be like him, I am not accepting myself as I am. And in this not accepting myself as I am there starts some pretending, there begins some panic.
What ends sorrow: The root cause of sorrow being clinging to notions and judgments, it can only be through great alertness so that we see through these divisions of psychological separation. So many inhibitions, so many complexes, so much pretending, so much of unnecessary sympathizing also. The mind jumps to conclusions. Once I went to my friend in my younger days to sympathize, to console his father’s death. And it was a jerky affair for me even at that high school days. That fellow was very cheerful and I didn’t know what to do, I had gone with some ready dialogues. Finally he petted me on the back and said, ‘don’t worry, it’s alright, go home peacefully’ such things keep happening to us. May be as we grow up we are aware of more possibilities. But we are again and again face to face with situation where some conclusion that we had made, comes out as false.
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Why carry many conclusions and then have the heart burn of finding
them false, why not remain inconclusive. Here conclusiveness is not utter stupidity or some kind of inability to decide. If it is inability to decide then I would go with a statement— ‘indecision is many a time worse than indigestion’ indecision is quite bad, because here we are talking of coming to a conclusion out of certain intelligence or certain seeing. The limitation of conclusion. To say I am a failure, on the whole I messed up my life, now it is too late. How dare my intellect conclude like this. If you are tired, take some rest and the mind is fresh again, get going with the work. Why conclude that you are a failure in life? Why conclude that community had done very well and then feel jealous about some group. Why conclude about one’s own so called community & conclude in many ways.
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So can we cleanse an inner layer in our mind of unintelligent conclusions and in the cleansing, in the purification of that inner layer, we shall remain functional, we shall remain active, we shall remain open and available. Please don’t think that is a state of no conclusions, one let’s down one’s own family, one’s community, one then becomes disloyal or betrays…please don’t think as one drops one’s narrow belonging one lets down one’s country etc.. how can that be? We are not talking about opposites. Today I feel I am a proud American and in the light of spiritual teaching I let go off all the barriers, whole world is one— I am a vishva maanava I am a world citizen. And would it mean that I would rejoice if there is some terrorist attack somewhere on the soil of USA. It cannot be. I will feel as much pain as before? If there is a terrorists attack and if on the American soil suppose a tremendous terrorist’s plan was foiled by intelligent agency, I would be happy and I would also be relieved as I would be when I had strong national identity.
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But than what is the difference? The difference would be you rejoice,
when a terrorist attack is foiled anywhere in the world. You are
happy. It doesn’t matter where at such and such place. Pakistan or
India, pro US or anti US, they have no meaning for you. You are happy wherever violence is thwarted. And you are sad wherever innocent people are injured by the thoughtless activity of somebody.
That is inconclusiveness.
And if you have this inner cleansing, many many events that takes place
Masterspeak
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